Two Obituaries

I don’t know if you saw this one. A 55 year old man died in New Jersey recently. This is where things got weird. There were two obituaries in the newspaper. One above the other using the same picture of the deceased Leroy Bill Black or Leroy “Blast” Black. One obituary by his “loving” wife. The other by his “long time” (although that was misspelled in the obituary as long-tome) girlfriend. The wife’s obituary said he died at home surrounded by his family and is survived by his “loving” wife Bearetta Harrison Black,” and mentions his children. While the other one lists “his long tome girlfriend, Princess Hall” and fails to mention some of his children. The funeral director at Greenidge Funeral Homes in Philadelphia says it isn’t unheard of for there to be multiple obituaries written from different perspectives. They took direction from Leroy’s wife regarding the funeral arrangements because they follow state law about one point of contact which is the spouse. I can’t imagine trying to juggle two women at the same time. I barely have the time to spend time with the one I have at home. Hopefully these two women got along at the funeral. I hope he’s resting in peace.

Here are some signs from “The Script: The 100 Percent Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat,” by Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer:

  • He criticizes you, perhaps jokingly suggesting you see a therapist.
  • He buys you something nice for no reason.
  • He tells you he “needs more space.”
  • Unexplained charges appear on your credit card.
  • He goes to the gym and buys new clothes, but doesn’t have sex with you.
  • He introduces you to a woman he “just met.”
  • He doesn’t want to talk about your relationship. And if confronted, he splits hairs on the definition of “cheating,” like Bill Clinton saying it depends on what “is” is.

Susan Shapiro Barash, a gender studies professor at Marymount Manhattan College, says there’s four types of affairs that women have. She describes these in her book “A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break Their Marriages.” Empowering Affairs, Sex-Driven Affairs, Love Affairs and Self-Esteem Affairs.